I am disoriented when I’m home here in Sydney.
The noise, people, constant movement, unattainable trends and no depth.
Yes, this will always be home, I grew up here, my family and dearest friends are here but while physically I’m here, my mind is somewhere else.
I’ve lost touch of the person who I am now, to the ideal women I want to be. My ideals of a happy life doesn’t resinate with people here. Here I find myself being put into situations I never intended to be apart of, therefore sidetracking my own happiness because I hate seeing the people I love struggling or in pain. So others first then me last.
I feel guilty if I start to think selfishly.
Only time I feel free and myself is when I travel and in Byron Bay.
Is it maybe the holiday buzz and free from responsibilities that gives it, it’s appeal?
I don’t know but every time I go back to Byron Bay, I’m home.
Braless, shoeless, pantless.
The ultimate freedom.
The nature, beaches, people, cafes, laid back attitude towards life is something I aspire to live by and work towards, ideally making a life there but only time will tell. I still have many plans and things I want to accomplish (Melbourne to finish degree).
I always put myself in this ugly state of mind where I believe I can’t make anything I want happen mostly due to money or lack of jobs. Horrible, I know.
It’s an easily laughable situation, 20 year old crisis “first world problems”.
Dedicated to all lost 20-something year olds.